This summer I have realized there are a lot of things I love about this small town. I thought I'd list a few:
1. The Ace Hardware stores- someone always speaks to you when you walk in and know exactly how to help you.
2. The big clock that chimes on the hour
3. Donut King! The world's best donuts
4. Stalvey's- good steak and fried shrimp for a very reasonable price
5. Ohco- tons and tons of cheap fabric
6. Oxford- a quaint little town just north of Covington- home of the original Emory University
7. The Deli on the square- I guess it shouldn't count since it closed this summer.
8. Patrick's feed store- it is a quilt store also and has terrific candy at Christmas
9. Country furniture store on the square- he hand makes furniture- my kitchen table.
10. My great dentist and opthamologist.
11. The old brick store- first building in Covington- 1822- still standing.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
a painful day
I've thought about writing about this situation before but hesitated. It is my own personal pain. Now though I write because maybe someone else will avoid causing someone the same pain. I can only hope.
Six years ago my only daughter gave birth to a premature little girl, Sarah. She was so tiny and so precious. Only living a few miles away, I saw her often. As my only grandchild she of course was extremely amazing to me. When her mom didn't want a pink room at her house, I painted a bedroom pink and bought her a crib for it, then a toddler bed. She stayed here often mostly on weekends. She was a kind, quiet child, full of amazing love.
I haven't spent time with her in two and a half years. Her mother got mad at me for something- I don't even know for sure what - and cut off all communication. I was crazy with grief and sadness for a long long time. A million times I've seen something in a store or gone somewhere we went together and was reminded with a flood of tears of time we spent together. I really thought I was getting better, a lot better, until today.
I drive down a road to run errands and Sarah's other grandparents live on this road. As I drove by today there was big blow up things in the yard, balloons and a tent. I realized that she was having a birthday party at her grandparents house. I had heard she was having a party but didn't know when. Her birthday is next Wednesday. This is the third birthday I've missed. I've also missed her first day of school, dance recitals, Christmas'. I don't even know her any more.
Somehow I think this one is worse. Her dad has started being friendly to me on occasion. I ran into him and Sarah at the mall one day and he let me speak to her. I don't think she knew me. He has come by the house a few times to visit or eat my cookies. He tells me Sarah remembers me and asks about me. I don't see how this is possible. But it gets my hopes up. The week before her birthday though I hear nothing.
Today for the first time I realized that I also grieve for the loss of my only daughter. We have never been as close as some- she always held me at arms length. I don't miss the drama she brought into my life constantly. But I do miss having a daughter.
If I didn't have a wonderful son, a daughter-in-law I love, and three wonderful grandchildren from his family I just don't know how I could even go on. I really question the whole reason for life sometimes.
Six years ago my only daughter gave birth to a premature little girl, Sarah. She was so tiny and so precious. Only living a few miles away, I saw her often. As my only grandchild she of course was extremely amazing to me. When her mom didn't want a pink room at her house, I painted a bedroom pink and bought her a crib for it, then a toddler bed. She stayed here often mostly on weekends. She was a kind, quiet child, full of amazing love.
I haven't spent time with her in two and a half years. Her mother got mad at me for something- I don't even know for sure what - and cut off all communication. I was crazy with grief and sadness for a long long time. A million times I've seen something in a store or gone somewhere we went together and was reminded with a flood of tears of time we spent together. I really thought I was getting better, a lot better, until today.
I drive down a road to run errands and Sarah's other grandparents live on this road. As I drove by today there was big blow up things in the yard, balloons and a tent. I realized that she was having a birthday party at her grandparents house. I had heard she was having a party but didn't know when. Her birthday is next Wednesday. This is the third birthday I've missed. I've also missed her first day of school, dance recitals, Christmas'. I don't even know her any more.
Somehow I think this one is worse. Her dad has started being friendly to me on occasion. I ran into him and Sarah at the mall one day and he let me speak to her. I don't think she knew me. He has come by the house a few times to visit or eat my cookies. He tells me Sarah remembers me and asks about me. I don't see how this is possible. But it gets my hopes up. The week before her birthday though I hear nothing.
Today for the first time I realized that I also grieve for the loss of my only daughter. We have never been as close as some- she always held me at arms length. I don't miss the drama she brought into my life constantly. But I do miss having a daughter.
If I didn't have a wonderful son, a daughter-in-law I love, and three wonderful grandchildren from his family I just don't know how I could even go on. I really question the whole reason for life sometimes.
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